Below are the 11 most recent journal entries recorded in caughtinmyhead's LiveJournal:

Friday, October 13th, 2006
12:13 am	Mo' Nature can suck on my salty low-hangers. Thought that's keeping me warm? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 10th, 2006
4:15 pm	I'm morose. I get it, but I'm disappointed. The disappointment made more acute by the second party's behavior since. Grow up, please? You're making it easier for me to be glad that you're gone, and I'm not ready to be. (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 22nd, 2006
3:01 pm	Scissor Sisters' first single from second official album: I Don't Feel Like Dancing Album: Ta-Dah! Released: Sept. 26th in the States. In case you were wondering, I am fully erect. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, June 20th, 2006
3:00 am	12th consecutive day of drinking. An of-age Dustin has landed. DLINKING SPLEEE!!! I'm weeping for the future. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 30th, 2006
8:05 am	ND. I made it on time to the train, slept most of the way home next to THE scariest old black man I've ever encountered, caught a bus to downtown, and just arrived at my apartment. I completely wanted to be home. *Sigh* On the plus side, only 13 days left :-D (Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
8:42 pm	NYC. I woke up mostly naked at 8:45 a.m. in the Lower West Side on Monday morning, and had to be to JFK by 10:45 to catch my flight. I caught it, but didn't really want to. At all. I came home and slept for 20 hours. YOU tell ME how my trip was. *Sigh* (Comment on this)
Friday, May 5th, 2006
2:17 am	I can only assume the homeless man sleeping in my flowerbed is too drunk to know where he is. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 29th, 2006
6:54 pm	It's not called gimeNICEtics... Yes, I went to see Stick It last night. What I didn't forsee was a high school girls' volleyball tournament being across the street from the theatre this weekend. However, despite being surrounded by the hoodie-ridden, poorly-highlighted masses (and a healthy dose of homos of all ages), the movie was brilliant. It's the new Ice Princess, I'm not even shitting you. We ended up at the bar at Applbee's for a good three hours after that, which was a surpringly hilarious, albeit somewhat inebriated, experience. Hurrah for completely unplanned Friday nights turning into amazingness, and ending with me passing out in the most uncomfortable of positions while Scary Movie played in the background. Fuck you, rain. I make my own sunshine. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
5:51 am	What a short nap will do Reading over that last post, there are some glaring grammatical/spelling errors I should have avoided. In fact, I probably should have avoided the post altogether. But it's too late now, and I'm too tired to do much about it anyway. So I'm just going back to bed. (Comment on this)
12:48 am	Wine-induced Well, this is one of what I feel will be many wine-, if not liquor-induced "blog" entries. Why do I put "blog" in quotation marks? What's the deal with my inherent prejudice against the very concept of "weblogs"? That, kids, is a topic for another post. Now, you may all think that I speak in this narrative for the sake of my hypothetical web audience. But, in truth, even in my most private of diaries, I speak in this same narrative voice. Why? Maybe it ties in to my ego (which, by the way, I truly am working on). Maybe it ties in to my underlying wish to someday be a teacher/professor. Who knows. Either way...it is what it is. Back to the main theme of my post-- I was busy painting in my room earlier tonight, and after the music ran out, I had only my brain to entertain me, and here's what it had to say: The last guy I dated (those of you who know me well enough will know who that is) showed me that I'm able to open myself up to people. He showed me that I'm able to come out of my guarded state (to a point), and to invest some sort of emotional investment in a person. For that, I am grateful...as he and I have had numerous conversations about before. What I realized tonight while painting (the painting itself wasn't necessarily a catalyst; more a situation in which I was left with nothing but my brain) was that, while the M situation left me open to emotional openness, if you will, it also left me open to neediness. Which is what I view as the ugly side of being emotional in general. Yes, I am open to a relationship. Yes, I am open to love. Yes, I am open to all things beyond friendship with someone. But...in the lack of all that, I am left with an inherent emptiness. I am able to acknowledge that I have amazing, mind-blowing friends that surprise me every time we spend time together. But at the same time, I'm now open to that void in my life that can only be filled by "that special someone." God, I hate speaking in cliches...too bad they're often too convenient to ignore. I feel like I've honestly moved beyond M. He's a great guy whom I deeply respect, and I vow to make a concerted effort to keep him in my life, but I no longer "get down on myself" when I think of him, which is a step in the right direction. But that leads to the next question; the next set of questions: Where do I go from here? How do I keep myself from hopping on to every prospect and investing myself too soon? (completely uncharacteristic of me) How do I react to another person's even-mildly-passing interest? How do I gague anyone's interest in me? How do I fend off my old demons? [Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<my [...] leave,>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] Well, this is one of what I feel will be many wine-, if not liquor-induced "blog" entries. Why do I put "blog" in quotation marks? What's the deal with my inherent prejudice against the very concept of "weblogs"? That, kids, is a topic for another post. Now, you may all think that I speak in this narrative for the sake of my hypothetical web audience. But, in truth, even in my most private of diaries, I speak in this same narrative voice. Why? Maybe it ties in to my ego (which, by the way, I truly <I>am</I> working on). Maybe it ties in to my underlying wish to someday be a teacher/professor. Who knows. Either way...it is what it is. Back to the main theme of my post-- I was busy painting in my room earlier tonight, and after the music ran out, I had only my brain to entertain me, and here's what it had to say: The last guy I dated (those of you who know me well enough will know who that is) showed me that I'm able to open myself up to people. He showed me that I'm able to come out of my guarded state (to a point), and to invest some sort of emotional investment in a person. For that, I am grateful...as he and I have had numerous conversations about before. What I realized tonight while painting (the painting itself wasn't necessarily a catalyst; more a situation in which I was left with nothing but my brain) was that, while the M situation left me open to emotional openness, if you will, it also left me open to neediness. Which is what I view as the ugly side of being emotional in general. Yes, I am open to a relationship. Yes, I am open to love. Yes, I am open to all things beyond friendship with someone. But...in the lack of all that, I am left with an inherent emptiness. I am able to acknowledge that I have amazing, mind-blowing friends that surprise me every time we spend time together. But at the same time, I'm now open to that void in my life that can only be filled by "that special someone." God, I hate speaking in cliches...too bad they're often too convenient to ignore. I feel like I've honestly moved beyond M. He's a great guy whom I deeply respect, and I vow to make a concerted effort to keep him in my life, but I no longer "get down on myself" when I think of him, which is a step in the right direction. But that leads to the next question; the next set of questions: Where do I go from here? How do I keep myself from hopping on to every prospect and investing myself too soon? (completely uncharacteristic of me) How do I react to another person's even-mildly-passing interest? How do I gague anyone's interest in me? How do I fend off my old demons? <My old demons will never leave, and that's another post altogether> I'm getting ahead of myself...or something. The basic gist (sp?) of this post was... As a result of M, I'm open to opening myself up. But at the same time, I feel a need. I need love. I feel needy. This is new to me all over again. How do I deal with this? It instinctually makes me want to draw into myself, but I'm fighting it. As always, I'm caught up in my own neuroses and not sure what to do. I think I'm going to go to bed and see how I feel tomorrow. That usually helps. Sorry for all this... ~d (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 25th, 2006
3:54 am	here goes... It's 4 in the morning on a weekday when I have to be up in a matter of hours, and what am I doing? Forming a new journal. A weblog, if you will. See, I haven't had one of these in years (well, not one that I've updated with any sort of regularity, anyway) and I feel like it's time again. I mean, I do manage to write in an actual, physical journal of mine every so often, but that's usually just my deepest secrets that absolutely no one needs--or probably wants--to read. Writing's very therapeutic for me, and while the very nature of online journals is fairly egomaniacal, I don't need any help with my ego. Anyone will tell you that. This is more for me than for any of you, and that's that. I'm going to go waste more sleep-time tweaking the appearance of this journal before I set it loose on my friends and the world..expect a more serious post some time soon. (Comment on this)